My hair reeks of homosexuality.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
