The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
