Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
