i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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