a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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