I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
