i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I FOUND THE LEGS
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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