people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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