there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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