i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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