btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
