I wish I could punch you in the face.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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