i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
