you turned your livingroom into a bong?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
