I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
