It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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