just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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