omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
should my penis look like a turkey
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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