Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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