She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
