Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
