Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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