So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
