I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
