Im at strip club and am horny
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
