too bad you live with your parents still
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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