Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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