Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Randomize
