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• (831): View more from California

  atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  yea

  (1-856): View more from New Jersey

  turns out that you did...and i just found it.

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• (972): View more from Texas

  So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  just woke up in my neighbors garage.

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room

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• (239): View more from Florida

  He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  There are footprints all over my windshield

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  You said you were making waffles...

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