They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
