Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
