what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
