rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
