And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
no you cant smoke seaweed
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
It's not a walk of shame if you run
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
