Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
