Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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