Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
