Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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