I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
