How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
