I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
