Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
