i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
