i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
