You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
