I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
