apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
