Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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