oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
