he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
